As you might have noticed, the trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 dropped yesterday. As you may not have noticed unless you frequent the same circles on the internet that I do, there's been a lot of hubbub about the casting choices, character design choices, and most of all, the idea of including three new villains (Electro, the Rhino, and some version of the Green Goblin) at once just because Sony wants to get the Sinister Six involved by the third or possibly fourth movie. I don't have an opinion at the moment, content as I am to play "wait and see" here, but it did inspire me to re-post this column I did for a different blog three years ago in which I looked at the Raimi trilogy and reimagined it as a longer series which also had the Sinister Six as its payoff. So, for your enjoyment if you're interested or just bored, my idea of a Spider-Man film series, based off Raimi's beginnings!
The fact that I'm a comic book geek is no secret; and, like all comic
book geeks, every time a comic book movie comes out, I've dreamed up
what I would do for a sequel. Now, with Sam Raimi's "Two Out of Three
Ain't Bad" Spider-Man trilogy over and a reboot coming, I get to play
armchair quarterback and tell you all what I would have done
differently, not just with one movie but with the whole shebang. I
figure I'm qualified. I mean, I might not know better than Sam Raimi,
but I definitely know better than the studio morons who messed up his
visions for Spidey 3, and whose even worse ideas for Spidey 4 are what
led to the reboot happening in the first place. Just a warning, my
vision for the franchise is a six-movie story, so, be prepared for a
ride.
Let's start at the beginning...
Spider-Man:
To tell you the truth, in terms of plot, there really isn't a thing I
would change about this movie. It really was a perfect origin story.
There are, however, a couple of parts I'd cast differently. Maguire and
Franco are okay. As for Dafoe, nothing against him, but, well, this is
how they draw Norman in the comics:
Now,
if that's not Tommy Lee Jones, I don't know who it is. And as for Mary
Jane, well, she's supposed to be a beautiful, curvy, redheaded model.
That isn't Kirsten Dunst. It is, however:
As
Stan Lee would say, "'Nuff said." Oh, yeah, also? The Green Goblin's
costume would not have looked like a giant green pocket rocket.
Spider-Man 2: Just
a few small changes here too, as this movie was pretty damn great. One
thing I'd change is the thing everybody found ridiculous about this one:
entirely too many people knew who he was by the end of it. Aunt May,
Mary Jane, Harry Osborn, a train full of people, Doctor Octopus...
that's all unnecessary. Harry finds out, and Mary Jane finds out at the
end, and that's it. The other thing I'd change is that Doc Ock wouldn't
redeem himself by dying. He'd stay bad and go to prison. This is an
important change for later on.
Spider-Man 3:
Alright, here's where I start to do the heavy lifting. The most
important thing is to avoid the overcrowding that happened in the
original version. There'd be no Gwen Stacy, she served no point. We'd
also stay away from the "Mary Jane is a hostage" thing that happened in
the previous two climaxes, Pete and MJ are still together, Harry attacks
him out of revenge, Pete finds the symbiote, Sandman is in it, Eddie
Brock is in it (but not Topher Grace. Jensen Ackles, maybe.
He
has the look and the attitude) but, and I can't stress this enough,
Venom isn't. Here's how it would play out. Spidey fights Harry as the
new Goblin and loses. Spidey fights Sandman and loses. Spidey finds
alien symbiote. Alien symbiote turns him into a douchebag (not emo!) and
he pushes MJ away. Harry manipulates MJ into dumping Peter. Peter in
his black costume kills Sandman. He gets Eddie fired like in the
original version and in the background we learn that Doctor Octopus had
escaped from prison and disappeared. Harry then confronts him and gloats
about making MJ dump him, and they have the fight they had in the movie
where Spidey seriously messes him up. This is where Peter realizes he's
lost control to the suit and goes to the bell-tower and rips it off,
and it finds Eddie Brock and they become Venom... end of movie. Credits
roll. After credits, we see Dr. Octopus, living a bit like a bum, under
the radar. He's approached by a mysterious stranger whose face is never
shown, who offers to help him get back at Spider-Man.
Spider-Man 4:
Well, now we're blazing some new territory here. Peter and Mary Jane
would still be separated, he'd be trying to get her back but
unsuccessfully. Harry would be in a coma throughout the movie. Eddie
Brock, now Venom, would know all of Peter's secrets and would be trying
to get close to MJ to use her against Peter eventually. Meanwhile,
Spider-Man would be dealing with a rash of burglaries committed by the
Black Cat (which Raimi did want to do in Spider-Man 4, it was a good
idea so I'm taking it.), who would be played by Anne Hathaway.
(Whoever
shopped that picture is a genius. And yes, my movies would be filled
with beautiful women... it's a proven formula, folks!) She would end up
falling for him, and he for her a bit, but she'd only be interested in
him in costume, not out of it. All that would really come out of it is a
few fights/sexual banters, and he'd convince her to give up crime.
Venom would attack Spidey after one of his fights with the Black Cat,
beat the crap out of him, and just leave. The climax would be Venom
kidnapping MJ and Peter going to the rescue, keeping Venom busy while
Black Cat sneaks in and gets MJ away without Venom noticing. Spidey
would then beat Venom, get to MJ and they'd kiss, while Black Cat
watches from the shadows, hurt and angry. Credits roll... short scene of
a beach where Sandman has reconstituted himself, and he is approached
by same figure from the end of Spidey 3, and they make a deal.
Spider-Man 5:
Peter and MJ would be working things out in this one. Harry Osborn
wakes up from his coma, Peter and MJ go to visit him, and he says he
never wants to see either of them again, and that he still wants revenge
on Spider-Man. Later in the film, his butler would tell him the truth
about his father and what he did, giving Harry some things to think
about. There would be a scene at some point between Spidey and the Black Cat
where she's pissed at him for loving someone else and she tells him to
go to hell or something. The villain? Remember how, in all the movies,
there was at least one scene between Peter and his one-armed professor,
Dr. Connors? Well, it's about time to turn him into the Lizard. The
Lizard would be rampaging through NYC, eating people and whatnot, and
would kick Spidey's rear a few times. Cue the second new character,
coming to America to hunt the biggest game he's ever seen: Kraven the
Hunter (despite the silly name, this guy was so badass he buried Spidey
alive at one point) played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
Just
change the costume up a little and he's perfect. In the end, Spidey
would have to use Connors's own notes to synthesize a cure for the
Lizard, while trying to keep Kraven from killing him. Of course, he'd be
successful, Lizard is cured, Kraven goes to jail, and Peter proposes to
MJ and she says yes, and the credits roll. Post-credits, shadowy figure
talks to Black Cat about how she hated Spidey and how he could help her
get back at him, and she says she's listening.
Spider-Man 6:
This is it, the big pay-off. It would also be the first and only of the
movies to have another word in the title, and comic book fans might
have seen where I was going with this. The full title would be
Spiderman: Sinister Six. One
of the biggest events in Spidey comics is when a group of his enemies
get together and attack him, and that's what would happen here. The
movie would open with three scenes, alternating between them: Spidey
fighting Sandman; Black Cat breaking Kraven out of prison; and Dr.
Octopus breaking Eddie Brock out of the lab where he's being kept and
re-uniting him with the alien symbiote. Sandman would just flee the
battle, his job as a distraction over. He'd go somewhere secret, where
Black Cat and Doc Ock had brought Kraven and Venom, and the shadowy
figure would finally be revealed as Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, and
you'd have the Sinister Six, and their goal is simply to kill Spidey.
Meanwhile, Peter and MJ are getting ready for their wedding. Black Cat
finds Spidey and warns him; she wanted to get back at him for breaking
her heart, but doesn't want him dead. They decide she should stay with
the Six to watch them, until the big finale, where she turns on them and
sides with Spidey, making it five against two. The battle would be all
over the news, and Harry would see his father still alive and go to join
the battle... on Spider-Man's side! After learning the truth about his
father, he wants to redeem himself by being a good guy. With the odds
now five against three, the good guys manage to win, the bad guys go to
jail, Peter and MJ get married, with Harry as the best man, and the saga
ends!
I know having that many villains in one movie
might be a lot, but, I think it would work, because they don't really
need characterization time. They all already had it in their individual
movies; this one is just about revenge. With this six-part structure,
each villain gets their own time to shine while the danger is ratcheted
up in each sequel until the most dangerous finale; the storylines of
Peter and MJ and Peter and Harry have more time to develop with their
ups and downs and reach satisfying conclusions.
Of course, there could always be a
Spider-Man 7, but I think it's time for me to get out of the director's chair.
