Noteable Quotables.

Okay, so, one of the things I said I'd be doing on this blog is revisiting some of my old MySpace blogs, just for nostalgia's sake, and I do fully intend to do that. Before I do that, though; one of the things I used to do on that old blog is include a quote of the day, some random one-liner or conversation snippet that was usually the most hysterical thing I heard that day. What I'm going to do here right now is post all of the ones that I have saved. Why? Well, for my friends reading this, it'll be a delicious walk down memory lane, and for new people reading this who either missed those quotes before or don't actually know my friends, well, it'll be one hell of an introduction. So, without further ado...

1. Said by someone I worked with at Gold's Gym a few years ago: "Could you guys try to have more self-respect for me?"

2. Nick, to Marc: "If Ghengis Khan had a time machine, he would use it to punch your mother in the gut while she was pregnant."

3. Either Nick or me, I can't remember for sure: "I don't wanna be the guy who writes Sgt. Pepper. I wanna be the guy who writes songs good enough to get him brain every night."

4. This line got an excited eyebrow-raise from Chris: "Seth Green is Audrey-sized."

5. A conversation between Nick and myself follows:

Nick: "I would let Ed Norton fuck me. In fact I would let Ed Norton and John Cusack fuck me."

Me: "You know how I know you're gay?"

Nick: "Because I would let Ed Norton and John Cusack fuck me?"

Me: "No, you couldn't stop Ed Norton. You're gay because you'd let John Cusack join in."

Nick: (hysterical laughter)

Me: "The only thing gayer than that would be if you'd fuck Joan Cusack too."

6. Chris, on wanting to stay out of my shenanigans:

Chris: "I have nothing to do with whatever it is you're planning on doing."

Me: "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?"

7. I have absolutely no way to summarize this one:

Jim: "Marc, Brenna wouldn't fuck you with another woman's vagina."

Chris: "No, she might with another woman's, she's freaky."

Jim: "No, she wouldn't. She'd fuck him with Ray's ass, though."

Marc: "Yes!" (fist-pumps)

8. I don't know why Ray said this, but he did: "If I'm gonna taste anybody's ass, it's gonna be my own."

9. Chris doesn't like having his music messed with: "What is that goddamn bootleg, bootstrap, kid-havin, niggrish bitch doing at the jukebox? She fucks up my Warren Zevon and I'm gonna hafta choke a bitch."

10. Chris, to me, after I messed my knee up on a bus: "You don't even have bad luck. You just have no luck at all. It's because you put the Yoda slippers on; your knee went into exile."

11. Marc really wanted to go on my aborted trip to Hawaii with me:

Me: "Yes, Marc. I’m taking Nick, not you. If I share a room with him, I don’t have to worry about waking up and finding him in my bed clinging to me like I would worry with you."

Marc: "Well yeah he wouldn’t do that. He has a girlfriend."

Me, after a good minute of looking at him in silence: "So you’re saying it would be okay to get into my bed and cling to me while I slept because you’re single?"

So there you go. I also have a list of lines from our college days, the old SFC "Isolate That" collection; maybe I'll post that one of these days. For now, this is just a taste of what you can probably expect to see from this blog.