It's New Year's Eve again. We're all about to put 2020 behind us and step boldly, or, more likely, tentatively into 2021. I thought before we get to that, a little look back might be in order. While I wasn't blogging at all last year, I did write a little Facebook post last New Year's Eve. Here's what I had to say:
"I personally cannot wait for the spectacularly shitty year that was 2019 to end. Losing Smitty. Dealing with all the new complications from having IBS. Having to choose to leave a pretty decent job because of those complications, and how I was flat out told I could never expect to be promoted because of them. The nightmare job hunting in New Jersey has been since then. The financial struggles and the arguments that go with them. Losing all faith in the idea of writing as anything more than a pipe dream. Copious unaffordable but unavoidable dental work. Yes, goodbye 2019. I will not miss you. 2020, please be better."
Sixty-six days later I was in the ICU, and a week after that we went into a lockdown for a pandemic that hasn't ended yet. So, I think it's safe to say 2020 wasn't better, by any stretch of the imagination. Copious medical debt that I'm still struggling to find a way to pay even as some of it makes its way to collection agencies, continued unemployment, no social life at all... yeah, it's been a rough year. For everyone. No MCU content at all? Absolutely brutal. And let's be honest here, 2021 isn't likely to be much better, at least not until we're a good chunk of months into it. But that's not what I want to talk about today. Instead of focusing on this year's shitshow and how much of it will bleed into next year, I want to talk about the good things that came about this year, because there were some, as well as what there is to look forward to next year.
So, let's see the good! Despite what initially started it off, I'm ending 2020 healthier than I've been in probably a decade. I've lost fifty-four pounds now. The cat we got towards the end of last year, Hannah, really blossomed into a full-blown member of the family this year, personality and all. I can't imagine how we'd have gotten through all the time stuck at home without her and George. And in a way, I'm thankful for all the forced time at home. After we adapted to it, it really led to a lot of fun memories. What else was good this year... well, The Mandalorian single-handedly saved Star Wars. I got my wife more into horror movies. I've started blogging again. Occasionally, anyway. I've gotten into Dungeons & Dragons with a fun group of people... over Zoom, of course, and am enjoying the creativity involved in being a Dungeon Master, coming up with my own stories to play out. It's the most creative I've been in a while now.
Yes, 2020 did have its upsides. And while the pandemic and everything associated with it won't be magically disappearing once the clock strikes midnight, with the vaccinations beginning, there is an end on the horizon. Hopefully. There are things to look forward to in 2021. Reunions with family and friends. A return to the things we used to take for granted, with a new appreciation for how easily things can be taken from us. More new MCU content than you can shake a stick at! And of course, with the new year comes the resolutions. For my part, I have three:
1.) To keep doing what I've been doing in terms of my health and weight; to continue managing my diabetes, to hopefully be taken off even more of my medications, and to hopefully lose another six pounds, dropping to an even 190lbs.
2.) To read more. Without a word of lie, I used to read on average fifty books a year. This year I think I read three. I need to get back to reading more, for the joy it brings me, for the motivation it gives me to write more, to get back to myself in that regard. Which brings me to number three...
3.) To find balance. I swear, only the wording of that is inspired by the Karate Kid marathon we've been doing this week before season three of Cobra Kai drops tomorrow. The truth it, much like a lot of people out there, this year has really thrown me for a loop. I've lost myself a bit. But it's not just this year, it's been longer than that, going back to at least last year, if not even longer. I need to find myself again, find whatever is missing, find... balance.
I think that's enough rambling from me for now. It's time to go watch some Twilight Zone. I wish all of you out there a happier, healthier 2021!
