My favorite bar, filled with as many friends as I could cram into it. A might of food and drinking and ridiculous conversations and monopolizing the jukebox with bad singalongs until we closed the bar down. A fitting "end" to my long, slightly legendary drinking career. These are the things I long imagined and planned for when I would think about the day I'd finally hit the big "four-oh." This would have been the perfect year for it, too; my birthday is on a Saturday for the first time since I don't know when, and for the first time since 2018 there's no snow in the forecast. It would have made for an amazing birthday party.
But instead, well, we all know what this year is like. It may be 2021, but the 2020 environment isn't through with us yet. So instead of that long-imagined big bash, it'll be a quite night at home with my wife and our cats, my favorite dinner on the table and a show being binged on the TV, or maybe we'll splurge and make it a paid movie night. It might feel just like any other day in this long unending year where everyday feels exactly the same, might feel like more of an unbirthday than a birthday, but I'm not complaining, not really. A night in with our little family is wonderful. After the last year, between my own health scares and the pandemic, I know I'm far luckier than some to be able to celebrate a birthday at all. But still, after snow spoiled by birthday both last year and the year before, I haven't had a real full party since 2018, so I guess I'm having a hard time not dwelling a little, not feeling just a little down in the dumps.
If nothing else, though, I can remember that that party in 2018 was at my favorite bar, filled with friends closing the bar down, just like the party I described wanting this year. I can enjoy remembering that great night as I know I'll enjoy whatever my wife has planned for me tomorrow. We'll have a delicious dinner, watch something fun, cuddle with some adoring cats, and perhaps I'll drink a White Claw or two. Maybe for a bonus I'll watch some donations come in for the animal rescue fundraiser I'm doing on Facebook (yes, that's a hint; if turning forty doesn't deserve a gratuitous plug, I don't know what does... while I'm being gratuitous, if animal shelters aren't your thing but you'd still like to send me a little birthday wish, there's always my Ko-Fi link on the right!), and when it's all said and done I'm sure I'll remember this birthday just as fondly as any other.
Turning forty doesn't have to be that bad. And there's always forty-one to look forward to next year.
