Retroblog - The World Went Topsy-Turvy...
So the other night I was reading through some of my old MySpace blogs that I have saved, and couldn't help but laugh at a lot of the insane hijinxs that went on between me and my friends back in 2006-2007. I've posted one or two blogs about some of our crazy nights on here before and decided to resurrect that custom today for this blog, originally published on December 7th, 2006. I'm sure the people mentioned in the following will jhave absolutely no problem remembering that night...
Well, it was an interesting weekend. Okay, it was an interesting week, which is probably why this blog is so late, but, maybe we'll get into that another time. Anyway.
Saturday would definitely be described as a guys' night out. Jabba, Mojo, Ray, Marc *shudder*, and myself had ourselves one hell of a night. First, we went out to dinner at Friday's, where, to the shock of everyone, I tried new things. To be honest though, I only did it because they changed their menus. So, I had an appetizer in the form of grilled macaroni and cheese, which was completely delicious, except it was WAY too cheesy and I couldn't have more than a few bites before my stomach started protesting. Anyway, between appetizers, food, and drinks for all, we managed to rack up a bill of roughly two hundred and forty bucks, tip and tax included. We also shoplifted.
Yeah, that's right. We shoplifted from Friday's. If you've ever had drinks there before, you've seen the size of the goblets they serve their alcoholic beverages in. Jabba has long desired one; in fact, he's inquired about purchasing one before, but they weren't for sale. So, the "goblet" was emptied, wiped down with napkins, and smuggled into Marc's bag while the view of our table was blocked by the wall of flesh that is Jabba and Ray.
After dinner, we were movie-bound, to see "Turistas." When that was over, we went to O'Keefe's, where we ran into Taj, who most of you (especially Mariela) would remember as the horny Indian (dots, not feathers) manager of Annie's, the official best bar ever. Unfortunately though, his drinking was ending as ours was beginning.
For once, the bar was busy on a Saturday night, and there were women around. So there we were, drinking at the bar, mostly drinking Marc's beer whenever he wasn't looking, when two girls... drunk girls, mind you... approach us. One of them, who we would later come to know as the engaged Megan, was looking for a nice guy to go out with her 19 year old sister Sarah, and they both thought Marc was cute.
Let's pause for a moment and take a look at all the things wrong in that scenario.
1.) Us being approached by an engaged woman. The only person that does anything for is Jabba.
2.) 19 year old drunk in the bar. Oh well, Irish Nick was bartending, so that explains everything.
3.) Girls thinking Marc is cute.
I would love to be able to give you all the details of that night, but at that point, these new developments coupled with all the other shit going on in my life... well, I kind of snapped. I was just drinking the drinks as fast as they appeared... and with Jabba buying and Nick mixing, that's pretty damn fast. What I do know is that the engaged one was pretty damn drunk, and, for help standing, she more or less wedged herself between my legs and proceeded to continually sway back and forth. I also remember her telling all of us that we weren't allowed to fuck her sister, mostly out of nowhere. Which led me to encourage Marc to try to kiss her sister. Which he did. Which led to one of the greatest things I've ever seen.
Megan emptied her beer out over Marc's head.
Well, to be accurate, she emptied her Smirnoff over his head., but you get the point. Anyway, the rest of the night is more or less a blur. Once the bar emptied out enough, we pulled the goblet out and Jabba got the rest of his drinks mixed in that. I fell into a fit of ramblings about a lot of things, which was set off by watching a girl rub Marc's crotch, proclaim she couldn't feel anything, and watching the way he kisses like an octopus' section cups. I do remember telling Nick I didn't want another drink, and him proceeding to ignore me and pour two more, telling me to, and I quote, "Shut yer Irish ass up, it's free boyo. Cheers." At any rate, numbers were exchanged with the girls, and we went on our way.
And, as luck would have it, our way led to Happy Days and a 4 a.m. breakfast. Yeah. 4 a.m. After gorging ourselves on various and sundry egg, bread, and meat related foodstuffs, we went home and I slipped into a blissful seven hour coma. Interesting night, huh?
I don't mind saying, I really miss nights like those...